Just A Dream
by sparkygirl82
Summary: Mac has a dream and is left to deal with the emotions it brings up. Mac/Stella.


A/N: Nope, still don't own them. I just do this for the fame and glory…oh wait…never mind.

Mac slowly made his way down the hallway toward his apartment. Today had been one of those days that seemed to take every ounce of energy he had to get through. Worst part had been that Stella had been in court all day so he didn't even have her endless energy to draw on. He took out his keys, glancing up and down the hall as he opened his door. His years as a Marine and a detective had left him with little sense of security, even just outside his own home. He made his way inside the door, locking it behind him. With a sigh, he threw his keys on the table by the door and shrugged off his jacket, hanging it in the closet. A small smile crept up his face as his tired brain finally registered the sounds of Debussy's _Clair de Lune _that were coming from his living room. He silently made his way into the other room, leaning against the door frame as he took in the sight before him: Stella was curled up on the couch reading a book with a glass of wine on the side table next to her. As she sensed his presence she looked up, taking her reading glasses off, a large smile on her face.

"Hey," she said as he made his way over to the couch. She set her book down on the coffee table as Mac lay down, his head resting in her lap. One of her hands came to rest on his chest as their fingers entwined, while the free one was running through his short hair. He could feel the tension slowly leaving his body at her touch.

When he remained silent she frowned. "Rough day?"

He nodded, "Another day of suspects who think fighting back against the cops and then trying to run is a good idea. Plus any day you're not there is a bad day by default..."

She smiled at his comment.

"But enough about my day, how was court?" His thumb was rubbing against the back of her hand, brushing over the band that was on her finger, a matching one on his.

"Jury deliberated about ten minutes, easy verdict. Guilty. Judge gave him life in jail, no chance of parole. Another piece of trash off our streets locked up where he belongs."

He smiled. "Another job well done by Stella Bonasera-Taylor and the New York City Crime Lab."

"Well what can I say," she replied with a laugh as she leaned down and kissed him quickly on the cheek, "I learned from the best!"

"And don't you forget it," he said as he laughed.

"So did you eat already? The D.A. took us all out for a celebratory dinner earlier, but I can make you something if you'd like, or I can order something in."

Mac shook his head, "Don't worry about it. Flack and I grabbed a slice while we waited for them to finish booking our last suspect, so I'm good." He watched as she tried to suppress a yawn. "I'd say right now the best idea for both of us is to go to bed…" She raised her eyebrow at him when his voice dropped off, a smirk on his face. "Go to bed and get some rest. I think soon we should look at taking some time off, go somewhere nice. Maybe back to Greece. Maybe we could go to Mykonos?"

Stella stood up, easing his head off her lap. "Sounds great to me. Admit it though; you just want to see me in that bathing suit I bought." He grinned as he watched her walk toward their bedroom. She turned back to look at him. "Coming?"

He nodded, "I'm just going to lock up." He made quick work of checking the locks and turning off the lights.

"Hey Mac," he heard her call from the bedroom. "Mac?" she called, questioningly. He walked into the bedroom but she was nowhere to be found. He walked into the bathroom thinking she was in there, but she wasn't. "Mac? You gotta wake up Mac." He walked around, hearing her voice, it seemed to surround him.

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It was late and Stella walked into the break room, intent on grabbing another cup of coffee to try and keep her going just a little bit longer. She found Mac in there, sitting at the table, a coffee cup still steaming next to him. He had his head resting on crossed arms; obviously he'd fallen asleep. Stella muttered to herself in Greek, something about stubborn men. Deciding the only way to get him to leave the lab was to do it herself; she set about trying to wake him up.

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Mac was getting frantic. He could hear Stella's voice calling him, but she was nowhere to be found. He had checked the bathroom, bedroom, even the closet and everywhere else in the apartment. Was she playing a joke on him? Or was this some sick criminal's way of getting back at him? All he knew was he had to find her if it was the last thing he did.

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Stella shook Mac again, getting worried. She pressed her fingers against his neck, feeling his pulse quicken. She was just about to try shaking him again when he quickly sat up, his eyes darting around the room until they landed on her. She saw the relief in his eyes when he quickly stood up, pulling her tightly to him as his lips crashed against hers. Her eyes widened in shock for a moment before her body began to react to him. It wasn't until she found a spot behind his ear that made him groan did she realize what they were doing. She was kissing Mac; Mac her best friend for over ten years. That same man who she was sure would lock himself away when the gravity of the situation hit them.

Reluctantly Stella pulled away, letting her forehead rest against his as they both caught their breath. She could feel his muscles start to tense up as reality began to set in to his sleep-muddled mind. He pulled back, his eyes wide in surprise. "Stella?" He quickly pulled back, needing to put distance between them. "I'm so sorry. I was dreaming, and it seemed so real, but it wasn't…and I shouldn't…you…are you ok?"

Stella tried not to laugh, it wasn't often she got to see Mac this flustered. "Mac, it's ok. I was just trying to wake you up. I didn't realize how deeply you were sleeping." She watched as he sank back into the chair. "Must've been some nightmare, want to talk about it?" She noted how he blushed as he dropped his gaze from hers before settling to her left hand, a flash of disappointment in his eyes. When he remained silent Stella placed her hand on top of his, squeezing him in reassurance. "Mac?"

"It's nothing. Really, you should go home. It's late and you've been here longer than me. Go home, get some rest. I'll see you in the morning." And with that he stood up quickly, hoping she'd leave things be for the night. The dream had stirred up feelings in him that he wanted to take time to analyze and evaluate. Making rash decisions had never sat well with Mac. He was calculated, methodical. The fact that in his sleepy haze he had been reckless and acted on impulse left him shaken. Though it might have been the idea of how natural the act seemed that scared him.

Stella clenched her teeth as she watched Mac place that protective wall around him once again. She couldn't believe he was shutting her out again. Over the past few years they had reached a point in their friendship where he was finally opening up to her, letting her know what he was thinking and feeling when it came to his emotions. But lately it seemed when he was around her, the wall was back up. He was fine talking openly to Elle of all people, but with her he wasn't. Maybe it was because of the late hour and her lack of sleep, or maybe it was her bruised ego but she had had enough. "Ok, fine. You don't want to talk? Then I'm leaving. I've tried Mac, I really have. Maybe you should go visit Elle, you seem to have no problem talking to her. I'm done."

She stared at him for a moment, hoping that he wouldn't let her just walk away. She was disappointed though when he remained silent. She could see him fighting with himself as he dropped his head. With a snort, Stella turned around, heading for the door. She wanted to put as much distance between them as possible before she let herself break down. She put her hand on the door handle and paused for a second hoping he would change his mind when he saw she was serious, it always seemed to work in the movies. But as she turned the handle, the click of the bolt was the only sound in the room. With one last glance back at Mac, she pushed open the door and headed toward the elevator, Mac's sad eyes on her the whole time.

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Mac closed the file he had been reading through. He realized he had been reading the same paragraph for the past ten minutes, and he still couldn't remember a single thing it said. With a sigh he ran his hands across his face as he glanced over at Stella's empty office. After she had left, he had gone back to his office to finish up his report. An hour later and he was nowhere closer to being done. He glanced over at the clock, just after midnight. Finally he stood up, giving up the notion of getting any more work done for the night. The events from earlier had left him confused and conflicted. Stella had been his closest friend for so long now it should have felt awkward kissing her, but it didn't. The transition had felt so natural. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he remembered the way she had felt in his arms, remembering the feel of her lips on his. This was Stella; the only woman since Claire that had understood him so perfectly, the only woman that never gave up on him, no matter how stubborn he could be. He stood up, grabbing his jacket as he headed out of the lab. What he really needed to do right now was go home, try and sleep for a couple hours and then try to figure out how to

fix things with Stella.

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Stella walked into the lab early next morning, a large cup of coffee in her hand. She hadn't slept well the night before, the incident with Mac leaving her unsettled. Oddly, it wasn't the fact that he had kissed her, but how he closed himself off from her. She had tossed and turned all night, finally falling into a troubled sleep in the wee hours of the morning. Then, she had received a call from Flack a few hours later that a suspect had been brought in for the case she had been working on for the past week. She wanted to make sure she was there for the interrogation so they could lock him away for good if he was the person responsible, so here she was.

As she walked toward her office she glanced over at Mac's empty one. Don had mentioned that Mac and Danny had headed out to a scene an hour prior to his call to her. Stella wondered if Mac had even gone home or if he slept on the couch in his office again. Sighing in frustration, she opened the door to her office, needing to grab the case folder before heading down to talk to the suspect. She was surprised to see a bag on her desk along with a note. She opened the bag, the smell of the fresh blueberry muffin making her mouth water. Smiling to herself, she picked up the note, reading the familiar scrawl. _I think there are some things we need to talk about; dinner tonight? My place, 8pm? _Stella felt the butterflies in her stomach as she re-read the note, wondering what would be the outcome of the night. Sighing to herself again she placed the note in her drawer and grabbed the pastry, eating it as she headed down to interrogation.

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Mac glanced up at the clock from his desk; it was just a little past seven. He frowned as he looked down at his phone. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Stella all day and she hadn't messaged him, so he didn't know if she got his note. Even if she had received the note there was no telling if she would come or not. Deciding either way he needed to get out of the office, he quickly packed away the case folders he had been working on and headed out of the lab.

Once he reached his apartment he called in some Chinese food from the place around the corner that Stella liked. Thankfully over the years their tastes had become similar at certain restaurants, so even if she didn't end up coming, the extra food wouldn't go to waste. He looked over at the clock on the wall; it was a few minutes to eight. Seeing that he had time until dinner would arrive he headed toward his bedroom to change out of his suit. Just as he was coming out he heard a soft knock at the door. Figuring it was Nga with the delivery, he was surprised when he opened the door to reveal Stella on the other side, looking unsure of herself.

For a moment they stared at each other, the events of the previous night still fresh in both their minds'. Wordlessly Mac stepped aside offering her entrance into his apartment. He closed the door and turned back to her. Finally she decided to break the silence. "So I got the note, obviously. You said we needed to talk, so here I am. Let's talk Mac." She continued to watch him. She knew she had pushed him yesterday, causing him to pull back. The last thing she wanted to do was push him away so she stood there silently; waiting while he formulated his words, watching as he calculated his actions.

He opened his mouth as if to speak but was interrupted by a knock on the door. A look of frustration crossed Mac's face before he turned to open the door. This time it was Nga, laden with a large cardboard box filled with containers of different foods. He quickly paid the delivery boy and closed the door, moving to set the box on the kitchen table. He turned to look at Stella. She could still see the uncertainty on his face. "Why don't we go sit in the living room?"

Without a word, Stella turned and made her way into the room, taking a seat on the leather couch. Mac chose to take a seat across from her, sitting on the coffee table. He dropped his gaze from hers' choosing instead to look down at his feet. "Stella, about yesterday…I…well…" Stella watched as Mac struggled with his words. Her heart went out to him; Mac was a brilliant man and extremely eloquent when it came to his job and science, but when it came to his emotions he had a hard time. "I'm sorry about yesterday Stella. Sorry about how I handled everything, sorry that I shut you out. Even more, I'm sorry I let you walk away. After you left I did a lot of thinking. We've been friends for a long time. You've helped me more throughout the years than I can ever begin to thank you for. After Claire died, I thought my life was over. I didn't see any point in sticking around since I had no one left that cared about me. But there you were, every day showing me how wrong I was. You were a pain in the ass sometimes: always checking up on me, making me eat and sleep, but I don't know that I could have survived if it weren't for you. You saved my life Stella. You keep saving me, and I thank God every day that I'm lucky enough to have you as my friend."

Mac paused for a moment, steeling himself for what he wanted, no, what he _needed_ to get off his chest. His breath caught in his throat as he looked up at Stella. Her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears as a smile formed on her face. She had never looked more beautiful than she did right there. He saw something else in her eyes that he prayed he wasn't misreading: hope. Maybe these feelings of his weren't as one-sided as he had made himself believe. The only way to know for sure was to lay it all on the line for her. He took another deep breath and continued on. "That's why when my feelings started changing I got scared. I didn't know how to deal with it. I realized I cared for you, a lot more then just a friend. But I was scared to change our relationship in fear of losing you as a friend. Scared that I'd push you away and lose the most important thing in the world to me; your friendship."

He held his breath as he waited for her to say something, anything. Stella continued to sit there and stare at him with her bright, shining green eyes. For a moment he feared he had made a big mistake, but then he watched as she brought her hand up to brush against the side of his face, her thumb stroking his cheek. Her gaze lowered from his for a moment, and when she looked back up at him, the smile on her face was so bright he thought she put the sun to shame. She blinked rapidly as a stray tear slid down her cheek. He kneeled down in front of her and leaned in closer, allowing his hands to come up to thread in her hair, pulling her to him. He brushed a kiss to the track left by the tear as her eyes fluttered closed. In turn his lips placed a chaste kiss to each of her eyes and then moved to kiss her forehead. He pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her as she laid her head against his chest, hearing his rapid heart beat.

"I love you Stella. I think I always have, and I know I always will."

She pulled back to look him in the eye. This time there was no mistaking what he saw reflected in hers. The love she felt for him shined brightly. Not trusting her voice to speak, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she brushed her lips against his. Soon they were both lost in each other, exploring the new evolution in their relationship. Eventually they pulled apart, both panting hard. At some point they had maneuvered themselves on the couch so Stella was lying on Mac, her arms wrapped around his waist as his fingers ran up and down her arm. For a few minutes they were silent, both content to enjoy the comfort of the other. Stella repositioned herself until she could look up at Mac. "I love you too you know."

All Mac could do was grin as he tightened his hold on her, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

"You know, you never did tell me about that nightmare you had last night. I won't force you to talk about it if it really bothers you, but I wish I could help you Mac. You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

He took a deep breath as he nodded. He looked down at her; a hint of sadness clouded his eyes.

"I couldn't find you," he replied, not quite sure how to explain the rest of his dream or if he even should.

"Was I missing?"

"I had come home after work. You were there waiting for me. We were…we were married. You went into the bedroom and I was supposed to lock up for the night. But then I heard you calling to me, but no matter where I looked I couldn't find you. I was so scared someone had gotten you and would hurt you. That's when I woke up. I just remember being so scared that I'd have to go through the pain of losing the person that meant the most to me again. Only this time I wouldn't have you to bring me back from the edge."

"Oh Mac," Stella sighed as she tightened her hold on him, dropping a kiss to his chest. "I'm right there with you; if anything ever happened to you, it'd kill me Mac. I can't imagine my life with out you in it. We both know that nothing in life is certain, but I promise you I'd put up one hell of a fight before I'd let anyone take one of us from the other."

Mac nodded in response as he pulled her into another kiss, both taking the time to pour everything they couldn't fully express in words into that one kiss. They were breathing heavily again as they pulled back. Stella tried to stifle a yawn as she snuggled deeper into Mac's embrace.

He glanced over at the Chinese food still on the table. "Sorry about dinner. I can get you a plate and reheat it for you if you'd like." He frowned as she stood up, already missing the feel of her in his arms. Smiling, she held her hand out to him.

"I think I prefer cold Chinese for breakfast, especially when I've had a long night."

Mac grinned as he took her hand, allowing her to help him up as they made their way to the bedroom, closing the door behind them.

**The End**

**Reviews make me happy!**


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